Panties Required

Hey loyal PR fans!  We are doing something different with our dating blog and adding a HE SAID, SHE SAID series where we get both male and female take on the situation!  Enjoy!

She Said:
Have you had something crazy or silly happen to you where when you tell the story years later, you cannot stop laughing while telling the story?  So much so, your stomach hurts and you cannot get a word out?  My dating life has been such a fun roller coaster lately, I decided to journal about it and sometimes share it with you, my loyal 1 reader. I want to one day look back and remind myself of the fun.  Saying YES to most things, has been a by product of my journaling.  I want my life story to be colorful and full so things I would typically not say yes to or do, I tend to now say YES YES YES!

My last date obviously did not read any sort of dating handbook, manual, blog, essay, quote, nada.  He was a early 30 something entertainment biz guy who I would consider Deb the Downer.  His life seemed pretty great but all he could talk about and focus on was how he should be paid more at his job, how if he pursued his passions, maybe he could be a big time now, etc etc.  The point where I almost choked on my shrimp appetizer was when he was telling me his views on dating in LA.  He said girls in LA expect a guy to pay for everything.  That they are superficial and think of dating as a sport where men pay for them to have fun.

For me, I do expect you to pay for the first date, no questions asked.  If I am dating someone, I contribute in ways that I can.  Thoughtful gestures and no, I don’t mind picking up the tab once in awhile.  But if you are taking me out on a ‘date’ (first date mind you), I want to feel like I am being treated like a lady and be taken care of.  Its not like we are in our twenties and struggling.  This guy clearly has nice things and a good job and can afford to take a girl out sometimes.  We ate at a very casual venue which I was totally cool with.  So when the billed arrived, I felt guilty and offered to chip in money.  He let me split the bill with him.  I was so turned off.  Did you not read Steve Harvey’s book?  Should I send him a copy?

Overall, we did have a good time.  I actually thought we connected on many other levels.  He was funny, witty and totally into me.  He was complimentary and sweet.

Am I being superficial?

Not your dude friend,
CJ

HE SAID:

Dear CJ,

Saying YES YES YES is a big step!  I’m glad you’re enjoying the single life, but don’t be afraid to say NO NO  NO when a guy approaches you and you don’t feel any attraction… That’s just a waste of everyone’s time and when you’re on the date and not interested he’s probably going to think your sport dating and ask you to split the bill. 

Regarding your last date… was he REALLY in the entertainment biz?  Really?  Sounds like he worked in the mail room for a company in the ent. biz….  Sounds like he lacks some ambition, drive, and is just a pussy in general. WAAA (crying) I want to make more money, I should be more successful, I woulda, coulda, shoulda… PUHLEESE.  Hey entertainment guy, nobody wants to hear you whine ESPECIALLY A pretty girl who you should be entertaining on a date, not playing therapist to you.  And, guess what dumb a*s… here’s a tip for you:  NEVER take a girl to dinner on the first date, NEVER!  Unless of course you’re really interested and think you need to lock her down for an hour in order to convince her that you’re the one.  How about drinks instead? Happy Hour?  Lunch?  Daytime date at the beach or on the promenade?

CJ, don’t be blinded by what’s starting to be defined as the “typical L.A guy”.  He has “nice things and a good job”.  NEWSFLASH: Just because a guy drives a nice car doesn’t mean his bank account looks good and a good job?  If his job was that great he would not have a problem treating you to dinner.  BTW, lets talk about the typical L.A guy or girl.  Most people who get tagged as the “typical” L.A girl or guy aren’t even from L.A.  Short story is you got blind sided by the perception of this guys success, and you expected more from him due to his nice things and good job.

A successful man does not need to talk about his success and doesn’t need to roll in a $80,000 car in order to demonstrate value.  A simple conversation can usually help you determine a mans success.  CJ, you’re a sweet heart and you know I respect you and your opinions.  In this case you’re all screwed up.  You wanted this guy to be someone he wasn’t from the beginning.  A successful man is successful because he’s applied knowledge he’s learned throughout his life into all areas of his life, not just in business.  A successful man is balanced and constantly working to improve himself in every way.  Plainly spoken, a successful man knows how to treat a lady.  Maybe he just wasn’t that into you?  The other side of the coin will tell you that a successful man is not necessarily a gentleman…. but I’m not sure I agree with that.

Bottom line, is “entertainment guy” is an idiot.  He asked you out, he should have treated.  He didn’t treat either:  1. Because he’s broke 2. He’s not into you  3. He didn’t see a future, another date, or an intimate encounter with you (happening anytime soon) so he figured he’d save some cash since he’d probably never see you again anyway.  Chances are that at 30 something he’s not completely clueless…  No, you’re not superficial, you just wanted to be treated like a lady.

I just realized my tone in this letter is a bit negative… I’m writing this after a conversation I just had with a girl I met on Sunday.  I called her a day later.  We talked for a while and we really got along great on Sunday. Then, during our conversation she called me “dude”.  Ladies, don’t ever call a guy  dude if you’re interested in him, it’s a total turn off and I won’t be calling her back.  But, maybe that’s what she wanted?

Not your dude friend,
BB

Hi Loyal Panties Fans!

Since I’ve been slacking off (still dating and having a ball), here are a few of my favorite online blogs/articles about dating for both men and women!  Enjoy and get back to work!

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/men-playing-hard-to-get

http://guytruths.tumblr.com/

http://www.neilstrauss.com/neil-strauss/

http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/06/-need-online-edate-help-call-virtual-dating-assistants.html

http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/09/an-updated-guide-to-making-a-classy-exit-from-a-crappy-relatio/

By Carrie Jean-

Have you thought about creating a list of what you want in your future mate?  I know you probably have prerequisites in your head (mental list) but have you actually written it down on paper?  I am a huge Oprah fan and have created a ‘dream board’ for my goals and the things I want out of life.  Shockingly, the things I wanted to happen, happened (some, world domination hasn’t been checked off yet, but I am still working on it).  Granted, some of it was diligence and persistence, but bottomline is, it happened.  Kind of like you get out what you put into the universe.  I encourage all you singletons out there to do this silly exercise with me.  Create a list and visit this list often of the qualities you want in your future mate.  You can be as specific as you want (afterall, its your list).  Here is a sample of my list if you are stuck.  And I carry my list in my wallet on an index card.  Nutzo I know, but I don’t care!

Kind Soul & Open Heart
Strong Moral Character & Integrity
Honest & Trustworthy
Positive & Growth Oriented
Makes Me a Priority
We Have Good Chemistry
Self Confident & Take Charge Kind of Man
Thoughtful
Funny
Healthy
Financially Savvy & Generous
Good In Bed (Big you know what)

I have put that energy out there on my index card and let me tell you the more dates I’ve been going on, the closer I am to getting this entire list fulfilled.  Remember I went on a couple of dates with total compatible guy but no chemistry?  I seriously, like an idiot didn’t have chemistry on that list.  Feel free to alter as you get to know what you want better!  I encourage you to be silly and make a list and put that ‘he should drive a black European sports car‘ on that list if that is what you want your future mate to drive.

All my girl friends have a list and some of them run two pages long…You have nothing to lose and so much to gain.  Do it when you are watching re-runs of The Kardashian’s.  You’ve seen that episode already anyways…

By Carrie Jean-

Do you ever wonder why you keep dating the same type of men?  My friend, lets say Jane has gone through more than 3 boyfriends in the past few years that were all long distance relationships.  Not only that, even after she broke up with the last one, the ONLY men that approached her while we were out were not local.  They were always from another state and even some from Europe.  This is our theory.  The universe is challenging her and until she is able to break the cycle of dating unavailable men who can’t give her what she wants, the ferris wheel continues.

So as you know we were in Vegas over the holiday weekend.  We met many people, many of whom were from LA (as its a short drive).  She of course met this amazing guy who claimed to have ‘no home’ meaning not from LA.  He travels constantly for work (sales type job) and owns a PO Box in some major city.  This guy was handsome, charismatic, had 80% of the things on her LIST (we’ll discuss that in another blog) and just an overall awesome male specimen.  He kind of reminded me of a Bradley Cooper (have you seen the A TEAM movie commercials? One word: WOW).  Just in case we need to refresh your memory on how hot Bradley is:

One more pic…

Last one, promise.

Sorry, back to the blog now…

After the holiday, this guy happened to be in LA for a week and wanted to take Jane out on a date.  Having recently been on a few lousy dates (old guy with a funny twitch, immature text message only boy, and etc) Jane was really needing this ego boost and thought the guy was very cool.

Getting back to LA, reality hit her.  This was going to be another long distance romance if things go well that was not going to be able to fulfill her needs.  Her and I talked about it back and forth and realized snow white, “don’t eat the shiny delicious red poison apple”!  So she phoned the guy and vocalized to him that he was great but she did not want to see him in fear she is only hurting herself in the long run (she is more than familiar with this long distance relationship tune).  He appreciated her honesty.  Even when she spoke to him it was difficult as he was a talker (most sales guys are talkers), talked about their connection, wanted to write her letters if she allowed him to.  Key the volins, it was very much like the movie, The Notebook.  And which chick doesn’t like that stupid movie?  But in the end, I was so proud of her for taking the hard road (he was SOOOO CUTE) and know that the universe will reward her in return.  And I reminded her what I always say when things don’t work out with ex-boyfriends and men that we date, “there are lots of men on the freeway”!  Pretty much all you do in LA is sit in traffic.  There are lots of men everywhere: the gym, the grocery store, there are actually too many people in this city that its annoying!  So ladies and gentleman, don’t worry, mister right or miss right is sitting in traffic somewhere waiting to run into you (not literally with their car) but you know, meet you!

Update: She was suppose to go on a date with mister ‘no home’ on Sat and instead, went out with the girls and met someone that night she is totally into…mister no home, who?  Yes, the restaurant was near a freeway entrance.

Written By – Carrie Jean

Steamy Break-Up Sex: It’s like cheesecake-taste good, rich with a smooth texture as your swirl it in your mouth, then turns your stomach upside down an hour later.

Why do we do pointless acts for short term pleasure?  We all know the right thing to do is not have sex with your ex because it will just confuse the situation and not be moving forward.  He is an ex for a reason.  But we seek the thrill, or the moment of fun we get out of it.  I had a rendezvous with a man I broke up with months ago recently and it was as if we were on our first date from a couple years ago.  It was exciting, passionate, hot–I mean, I touched him and he almost combusted!  I wore my highest heels and my sexiest, shortest, leave nothing to the imagination dress. It worked, as his eyes were popping out of his head throughout dinner.  You know what I am talking about, we’ve all done it–STEAMY BREAK-UP SEX.  Are we unable to see the big picture that nothing good (except right now when we are both naked) will come out of this?  Should our society change the way we think and stop with the instant gratification?  How do we curb that?  Maybe I am just not mature enough to do the right thing…When will that maturity come (I am in my thirties)?

My girl friend has the same dilemna.  She is hanging out with a boy 8 years younger than her.  They workout at the gym together.  All she wants to do is have sex with him and nothing else.  Her very dear, wise married friend tells her not to get involved (ocxytocin, emotions and etc.) and all she wants to do and still may do is jump this hot young boy.  She knows it’s not good for her and nothing but total short term fun followed by hurt feelings and a path to nowhere will come of it.  How come we know what’s good and still do the bad?

I know how to protect my friend from walking into traffic and getting hit by a car by saying “Stop! There’s a car coming”, how come I don’t know how to protect my heart from these thrilling situations?  ”Stop! I know you want to show him what sex on heels looks like but don’t you realize you are only torturing the most important person, you!”  Change comes from repetition.  Change comes from repetition.  Today, I vow to protect my heart.

Dear Universe: Help me help myself to take the path less traveled.  Being locked up somewhere may help.  Just a thought.

PS. Today’s blog is dedicated to a loyal reader Frank…yes, you Frank

Written by- Carrie Jean
I recently read this article about the Golden Door Spa.  It’s a primo exclusive place where the uber rich go to detox from crazy work schedules.  Supposedly not only is a fru fru spa but they also have a intense workout regime that they put you through.  Getting a tee shirt from there is like a ‘big deal’.  The people that go there tend to have 10,000 shares of Berkshire Hathaway Stock, and that is A Stock, not B Stock.  Any joe schmo, me, can own B Stock now.  For those of you who don’t know, A Stock is around $100,000 per share (now times 10,000).  What I took away from this article was the advice of their resident zen guru Annharriet Buck.  Her advice for people to get “unstuck” or out of a rut is to focus on the word “contrast”.

If you have been sitting, stand.
If you have been staying home, travel.
If you have been learning, teach.
If you have been walking, run.
Basically do the opposite of what you are doing.  This was her take on applying it to life but it also resonates with dating.  Even in the relationship advice books, they often tell you to change up your routine.  If you bring lunch to work, eat out!  If you cook at home, cruise the prepared food section at Whole Foods.  Mix up your routine.  There is truth to the phrase, opposites attract.  You may be a homebody who enjoys watching a movie on a Friday night but that special someone may like to go to rock concerts.  Do different things!  That is what makes life interesting and full.

If you recently got back into the dating scene, its good to tell people.  When I told people, I was instantly setup by friends and family.  During that time, I had more dates a week than I could keep up with (it was very flattering).  And they were quality men who had a vouch!  Make sure you let people know that you are single and looking so YOU are on their radar.

As for where to meet men, my favorite of the moment is happy hour.  The men that come into happy hour from my experience have a been professionals (having a decent job in your 30s is a prerequisite).  Pick the happy hours near office buildings or at nice steakhouses.  Men love steak.  If you are vegetarian and don’t mind dating a meat eater, have some fries!  On a recent outing to BOA Steakhouse on Sunset Blvd in LA, the new steakhouse of the moment, not only did my two girl friends and I have the best time but we met a slew of men!

We were just being ourselves talking and laughing and this guy wanted to join in on our conversation (this has happened more than once–men love to eavesdrop).  He was an attractive 40 something gentleman who was sitting by himself waiting for friends.  His contribution to our conversation was the male perspective to our topic…but his bigger contribution was when his party of 13 dudes arrived.  They were celebrating his brother’s birthday after a long day of golf at the Los Angeles Golf Club (where Justin Timberlake golfs) and everyone brought a bottle of wine.  One of my girl friend’s a waitress and was familiar with the pricey bottles.  I only recognized the Opus One as that is like a famous expensive wine.  The point is these men were established and good prospects.  Numbers were exchanged that night.

So the take away today is to do the opposite of what your doing.  Go rock climbing if you are afraid of heights (just kidding) but hang out in a rock climbing facility!  Let people know that you are available and happy hour is way better than that night club on a Saturday night!

Next topic: Ladies, do you dress for women or for men?

Brushing up on my relationship reading (one of my favorite past times–understanding the dynamics between men and women), the book ‘Mars and Venus On a Date’ by John Gray reminded me of a few key points about men.

1.  Men want to please you

2.  Let a man work for it and for you.  The satisfaction of ‘winning’ or making you happy is his reward (similar to a sports game)

3.  There is no need to offer the entire pie upfront in anything you do.  Feed him the crumbs, crust, maybe a slice a little bit at a time.  The best food is always when you get a small taste and reach for it again and there is non left.  That lingering flavor in your mouth is much more satisfy than a heaping slice of chocolate cream pie that you will regret or feel bloated from later.

So this Valentine’s Day when you are on a date or hanging out with a guy, make sure to let him exercise his role.  He will be happy to do so.  Just remember to be appreciative (without being overly appreciative/don’t do his laundry).

Happy Monday Sexy Readers!

We hope everyone had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

Panties Required was doing some research and we came across Men’s Health’s “5 Secrets of Sexually Satisfied Women“ and they sure did help us reveal to men what really gets us sexually charged. Most of the time, men have huge impacts on how we portray ourselves through our sexuality. It is what you guys do and say that are the main factors in our sexual satisfactory and how we go about sex. Check out these 5 facts in figuring out what really is key to having a sexually satisfied woman by your side every night.

You know she’s hot. Let her know how hot she is. Then she knows she’s hot too. Satisfied women should uphold a good sense of self-esteem and why not, since a woman must feel good about herself to know that she is making you feel good. Ways of going about this is to always remember to never criticize any other women’s bodies because then she will start to wonder what you really think of hers. Compliment her in bed, then you will know for sure that she is assured that she is hot. Another great way is to get her some sexy lingerie, which will really send her a message that you think she is hot when you want to see her in something like that. You guys know that PantiesRequired.com can satisfy both your needs in this case.

You know what makes her hot. She will tell you. If you know what gets her to that place, then the likelihood of having a satisfied woman is high. Encourage sex talks to open up the air about what she likes that you do to her and what drives her over the top so that you will know how to work the magic each and everytime to satisfy her needs.

You keep her wanting more. She wants more. When a woman is feeling a little frisky, you will know it and respond to her needs by sending flirty little texts/emails throughout the day to keep her intrigued. The intensity will keep her longing for you even if you two get intimate often.

You know how to work it. She really doesn’t care about size that much. As common as that sounds, it is true. Most satisfied women are those who have men that can give them what they want and deliver to all her sexual wants and needs. The passion is what really  keeps you two going and prolongs the intensity between the both of you.

Pleasure. Both of you are satisfied. Don’t focus too much on her orgasm or little things like that. Just relax, the pleasure from sex is doing it for her and will allow her to climax just fine.

Hello Sexy Readers!

Since the holidays are right around the corner, we could imagine how the stress is starting to take a toll on your love life. The ladies at Panties Required can understand how stressful the holiday madness can get and how it could affect the romance in your relationship during these times of the year. In Women’s Health December 2009 issue, the article “Connect with Him” helps us realize that we should all take some time off the holiday stress and focus on rekindling the romance and dedicating yourself to some one-on-one time with your special someone. Here are 3 quick ways to help the both of you remember to relax and keep up the intimacy during the stressful holidays.

1. Crowded Holiday Parties- Flirt. The parties can get overwhelming for the both of you, especially when it’s one after another and there is less time devote to each other with so many people around. Flirt with each other as if you two just met. This will definitely keep the excitement alive and studies show that when couples get flirty with each other, testosterone is boosted 30% in men. Make sure you keep the excitement alive!

2. Family Guests are Staying Over-Get a Room. Leave your home to the guests and splurge on a hotel where the two of you can escape the holiday craziness with each other, kind of like a little getaway. The hotel will allow the two of you to distance yourself from the the usual daily routine and allow the both of you to relax. Getting intimate in new surroundings will also liven up the passion in your lives. Sexy lingerie will definitely play a big role in this special holiday rendezvous. Make sure you holiday lovers pick up something sexy for your adventures at Panties Required.

3. Too Much Holiday Chaos- Create Your Own Rituals. The holidays can drive anyone crazy. The two of you can create your own rituals to maintain your privacy during the holidays. All the obligations that we are all given will create more stress and little things like giving each other massages can mentally and physically calm the both of you and allow a couple to feel connected. Panties Required carries Kama Sutra sets and massage oils in our Accessories section that will for sure help in a successful romance filled and stress-free holiday.

Happy Holidays!!

Happy Veterans Day Sexy Readers!

Now when it comes to women’s underwear and lingerie, Panties Required does it best! And we sure are experts on lending a hand to men in buying lingerie for women. When men want to get under garments and lingerie for their special girl, often times it can be difficult. When that problem occurs, that is where Panties Required comes in. We have a special Man-Friendly Search section that allows men to easily pick out something perfect for their sweetheart!

But how about men’s underwear? In an article in Glamour’s Sex, Love & Life section, we learn that there is much more meaning to men’s underwear than we thought and what it means when women buy underwear for their men.

In the article, we learn that in recent studies, men’s underwear says a lot about the guy himself. Like lingerie for women, when relationships get serious, women tend to start buying their guys’ underwear. Of course, in the earlier years, mothers are the ones supplying the underwear, but according to research, men usually start buying their own underwear after the age of 19 and stop buying their own underwear once they get in a relationship and their relationship is taken to higher levels.

So ladies, once you find yourself buying underwear for your special guy, it could mean that your relationship is going towards the next step and he could be “The One” for you. It shows that the both of you are seriously committed to your relationship and these little things such as buying underwear are factors in serious relationship territory. Don’t be surprised if in the near future you see a Woman- Friendly Search section on Panties Required.  We do feel just a tiny bit bad that we don’t sell men’s undies yet…oh well.  They can wait.  xo