SHE SAID, HE SAID DATING SERIES
August 27th, 2010
Hey loyal PR fans! We are doing something different with our dating blog and adding a HE SAID, SHE SAID series where we get both male and female take on the situation! Enjoy!
She Said:
Have you had something crazy or silly happen to you where when you tell the story years later, you cannot stop laughing while telling the story? So much so, your stomach hurts and you cannot get a word out? My dating life has been such a fun roller coaster lately, I decided to journal about it and sometimes share it with you, my loyal 1 reader. I want to one day look back and remind myself of the fun. Saying YES to most things, has been a by product of my journaling. I want my life story to be colorful and full so things I would typically not say yes to or do, I tend to now say YES YES YES!
My last date obviously did not read any sort of dating handbook, manual, blog, essay, quote, nada. He was a early 30 something entertainment biz guy who I would consider Deb the Downer. His life seemed pretty great but all he could talk about and focus on was how he should be paid more at his job, how if he pursued his passions, maybe he could be a big time now, etc etc. The point where I almost choked on my shrimp appetizer was when he was telling me his views on dating in LA. He said girls in LA expect a guy to pay for everything. That they are superficial and think of dating as a sport where men pay for them to have fun.
For me, I do expect you to pay for the first date, no questions asked. If I am dating someone, I contribute in ways that I can. Thoughtful gestures and no, I don’t mind picking up the tab once in awhile. But if you are taking me out on a ‘date’ (first date mind you), I want to feel like I am being treated like a lady and be taken care of. Its not like we are in our twenties and struggling. This guy clearly has nice things and a good job and can afford to take a girl out sometimes. We ate at a very casual venue which I was totally cool with. So when the billed arrived, I felt guilty and offered to chip in money. He let me split the bill with him. I was so turned off. Did you not read Steve Harvey’s book? Should I send him a copy?
Overall, we did have a good time. I actually thought we connected on many other levels. He was funny, witty and totally into me. He was complimentary and sweet.
Am I being superficial?
Not your dude friend,
CJ
HE SAID:
Dear CJ,
Saying YES YES YES is a big step! I’m glad you’re enjoying the single life, but don’t be afraid to say NO NO NO when a guy approaches you and you don’t feel any attraction… That’s just a waste of everyone’s time and when you’re on the date and not interested he’s probably going to think your sport dating and ask you to split the bill.
Regarding your last date… was he REALLY in the entertainment biz? Really? Sounds like he worked in the mail room for a company in the ent. biz…. Sounds like he lacks some ambition, drive, and is just a pussy in general. WAAA (crying) I want to make more money, I should be more successful, I woulda, coulda, shoulda… PUHLEESE. Hey entertainment guy, nobody wants to hear you whine ESPECIALLY A pretty girl who you should be entertaining on a date, not playing therapist to you. And, guess what dumb a*s… here’s a tip for you: NEVER take a girl to dinner on the first date, NEVER! Unless of course you’re really interested and think you need to lock her down for an hour in order to convince her that you’re the one. How about drinks instead? Happy Hour? Lunch? Daytime date at the beach or on the promenade?
CJ, don’t be blinded by what’s starting to be defined as the “typical L.A guy”. He has “nice things and a good job”. NEWSFLASH: Just because a guy drives a nice car doesn’t mean his bank account looks good and a good job? If his job was that great he would not have a problem treating you to dinner. BTW, lets talk about the typical L.A guy or girl. Most people who get tagged as the “typical” L.A girl or guy aren’t even from L.A. Short story is you got blind sided by the perception of this guys success, and you expected more from him due to his nice things and good job.
A successful man does not need to talk about his success and doesn’t need to roll in a $80,000 car in order to demonstrate value. A simple conversation can usually help you determine a mans success. CJ, you’re a sweet heart and you know I respect you and your opinions. In this case you’re all screwed up. You wanted this guy to be someone he wasn’t from the beginning. A successful man is successful because he’s applied knowledge he’s learned throughout his life into all areas of his life, not just in business. A successful man is balanced and constantly working to improve himself in every way. Plainly spoken, a successful man knows how to treat a lady. Maybe he just wasn’t that into you? The other side of the coin will tell you that a successful man is not necessarily a gentleman…. but I’m not sure I agree with that.
Bottom line, is “entertainment guy” is an idiot. He asked you out, he should have treated. He didn’t treat either: 1. Because he’s broke 2. He’s not into you 3. He didn’t see a future, another date, or an intimate encounter with you (happening anytime soon) so he figured he’d save some cash since he’d probably never see you again anyway. Chances are that at 30 something he’s not completely clueless… No, you’re not superficial, you just wanted to be treated like a lady.
I just realized my tone in this letter is a bit negative… I’m writing this after a conversation I just had with a girl I met on Sunday. I called her a day later. We talked for a while and we really got along great on Sunday. Then, during our conversation she called me “dude”. Ladies, don’t ever call a guy dude if you’re interested in him, it’s a total turn off and I won’t be calling her back. But, maybe that’s what she wanted?
Not your dude friend,
BB

























