Panties Required

Hey loyal PR fans!  We are doing something different with our dating blog and adding a HE SAID, SHE SAID series where we get both male and female take on the situation!  Enjoy!

She Said:
Have you had something crazy or silly happen to you where when you tell the story years later, you cannot stop laughing while telling the story?  So much so, your stomach hurts and you cannot get a word out?  My dating life has been such a fun roller coaster lately, I decided to journal about it and sometimes share it with you, my loyal 1 reader. I want to one day look back and remind myself of the fun.  Saying YES to most things, has been a by product of my journaling.  I want my life story to be colorful and full so things I would typically not say yes to or do, I tend to now say YES YES YES!

My last date obviously did not read any sort of dating handbook, manual, blog, essay, quote, nada.  He was a early 30 something entertainment biz guy who I would consider Deb the Downer.  His life seemed pretty great but all he could talk about and focus on was how he should be paid more at his job, how if he pursued his passions, maybe he could be a big time now, etc etc.  The point where I almost choked on my shrimp appetizer was when he was telling me his views on dating in LA.  He said girls in LA expect a guy to pay for everything.  That they are superficial and think of dating as a sport where men pay for them to have fun.

For me, I do expect you to pay for the first date, no questions asked.  If I am dating someone, I contribute in ways that I can.  Thoughtful gestures and no, I don’t mind picking up the tab once in awhile.  But if you are taking me out on a ‘date’ (first date mind you), I want to feel like I am being treated like a lady and be taken care of.  Its not like we are in our twenties and struggling.  This guy clearly has nice things and a good job and can afford to take a girl out sometimes.  We ate at a very casual venue which I was totally cool with.  So when the billed arrived, I felt guilty and offered to chip in money.  He let me split the bill with him.  I was so turned off.  Did you not read Steve Harvey’s book?  Should I send him a copy?

Overall, we did have a good time.  I actually thought we connected on many other levels.  He was funny, witty and totally into me.  He was complimentary and sweet.

Am I being superficial?

Not your dude friend,
CJ

HE SAID:

Dear CJ,

Saying YES YES YES is a big step!  I’m glad you’re enjoying the single life, but don’t be afraid to say NO NO  NO when a guy approaches you and you don’t feel any attraction… That’s just a waste of everyone’s time and when you’re on the date and not interested he’s probably going to think your sport dating and ask you to split the bill. 

Regarding your last date… was he REALLY in the entertainment biz?  Really?  Sounds like he worked in the mail room for a company in the ent. biz….  Sounds like he lacks some ambition, drive, and is just a pussy in general. WAAA (crying) I want to make more money, I should be more successful, I woulda, coulda, shoulda… PUHLEESE.  Hey entertainment guy, nobody wants to hear you whine ESPECIALLY A pretty girl who you should be entertaining on a date, not playing therapist to you.  And, guess what dumb a*s… here’s a tip for you:  NEVER take a girl to dinner on the first date, NEVER!  Unless of course you’re really interested and think you need to lock her down for an hour in order to convince her that you’re the one.  How about drinks instead? Happy Hour?  Lunch?  Daytime date at the beach or on the promenade?

CJ, don’t be blinded by what’s starting to be defined as the “typical L.A guy”.  He has “nice things and a good job”.  NEWSFLASH: Just because a guy drives a nice car doesn’t mean his bank account looks good and a good job?  If his job was that great he would not have a problem treating you to dinner.  BTW, lets talk about the typical L.A guy or girl.  Most people who get tagged as the “typical” L.A girl or guy aren’t even from L.A.  Short story is you got blind sided by the perception of this guys success, and you expected more from him due to his nice things and good job.

A successful man does not need to talk about his success and doesn’t need to roll in a $80,000 car in order to demonstrate value.  A simple conversation can usually help you determine a mans success.  CJ, you’re a sweet heart and you know I respect you and your opinions.  In this case you’re all screwed up.  You wanted this guy to be someone he wasn’t from the beginning.  A successful man is successful because he’s applied knowledge he’s learned throughout his life into all areas of his life, not just in business.  A successful man is balanced and constantly working to improve himself in every way.  Plainly spoken, a successful man knows how to treat a lady.  Maybe he just wasn’t that into you?  The other side of the coin will tell you that a successful man is not necessarily a gentleman…. but I’m not sure I agree with that.

Bottom line, is “entertainment guy” is an idiot.  He asked you out, he should have treated.  He didn’t treat either:  1. Because he’s broke 2. He’s not into you  3. He didn’t see a future, another date, or an intimate encounter with you (happening anytime soon) so he figured he’d save some cash since he’d probably never see you again anyway.  Chances are that at 30 something he’s not completely clueless…  No, you’re not superficial, you just wanted to be treated like a lady.

I just realized my tone in this letter is a bit negative… I’m writing this after a conversation I just had with a girl I met on Sunday.  I called her a day later.  We talked for a while and we really got along great on Sunday. Then, during our conversation she called me “dude”.  Ladies, don’t ever call a guy  dude if you’re interested in him, it’s a total turn off and I won’t be calling her back.  But, maybe that’s what she wanted?

Not your dude friend,
BB

Written by Carrie Jean,

There is something to be said about intuition in relationships.  But really intuition in general.  My friends and I always resort to the same phrase “go with your gut” when situations arise.  8 out of 10 times our instincts are correct.  If you are ever wavering about a suspicion or decision, go with your gut!

While out to dinner one night with a girl friend, I met this great guy, lets call him Steven.  We were at this LA sushi hot spot on Sunset.  Steven was friendly and shared his sake and jokes with us.  Before we knew it, he’s sitting at our table and making our night fun with silly stories and laughter.  He told me that he was partners with the sushi spot we were in (or in restaurant biz) but when the restaurant owner came by to say hello to the room, they didn’t seem to know each other (usually same industry people know each other).  I only knew he was the owner because he is visible at many of the restaurants in town. Steven did however know the entire staff there.  Sign #1.  I really didn’t think anything of it and was happy to meet such a sweet charming man.

After dinner, he took us over to the hotel bar across the street and rolled out the red carpet.  VIP rope access, skip to the front of the massive line, who doesn’t like that!  The music was great, the drinks were flowing, it was fun time to be had by all.  At one point my girl friend was like, this is one of the best nights of my life!

Steven made it clear he was interested in me.  He kept complimenting me, touching my face and telling me how sweet I was, etc etc.  Sentences like, ‘when we are married’, “lets go to Paris in Sept”…What girl doesn’t like to be adored?! As the night came to an end, he told me that he was going out of town and wanted to take me out next week when he’s back.

The next week rolls around and we planned on going to my area for dinner.  Suddenly, he changes the plans to go out in Hollywood again.  He said he was staying at a hotel in Hollywood and to meet him there in the lobby restaurant and bar.  Um, didn’t you say you lived in Beverly Hills?  Why would you be staying at a hotel? This made me uneasy. Sign #2.  I had to ask questions!  His explanation was that he had free nights that expired that weekend and he wanted a mini vacation.  We had a great time regardless.  We even took some silly pictures and he gave me his card to send him the photos.

The next morning I Google him and his organization.  Dear Sergey and Larry, thank you for the service you provide that is called Google.  Come to find out, he does own a bar in another city.  His name, drugs, prostitution and seedy activities were mentioned all int he same paragraph.

Truth or not truth, I am out! Its really scary out there (dating)!  I am going with the two G’s on this one: my gut and Google.

By Randa Rose

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So this blog doesn’t have much to do with dating, lingerie or fashion but we thought it was well worth posting.  We all need friendly reminders to just kick back and enjoy this moment…

I use to think once I got out of high school, my life will start in college.  I went to a very strict catholic high school.  Enough said.  Once I was in college, I thought to myself, once I finish college my life will start in my 20’s.  Then when my 20’s rolled around, I thought yet again, once I met the man of my dreams/got married, my life will start.  Not sure if you do, but I would always make excuses and needed something to look forward to.  Until NOW.

Recently I met this woman who from the outside had my ideal life of happily ever after.  She is successful, married to a handsome/successful man, lives in charming family friendly neighborhood in LA and they have a beautiful young son together.  This married woman gave me a glimpse of what’s in store on the ‘other side’ of the hill and it sounded like she wasn’t very happy in her ‘happily ever after life’.  She loves her child more than anything but as for the relationship with her hubby, the interworkings were not working.  I was very disheartened.  If these people (great careers, great family, great life, etc etc) couldn’t make it, who could?  This made me realize that I can’t wait for happiness to come once I reach a certain point.  I have to have happiness NOW, each and everyday because it may not come…ever!

Thanks for the reminder married woman!  Its funny how every experience/encounter can be a true life lesson if you look hard enough.

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Hi Loyal Panties Fans!

Since I’ve been slacking off (still dating and having a ball), here are a few of my favorite online blogs/articles about dating for both men and women!  Enjoy and get back to work!

http://www.marieclaire.com/sex-love/dating-blog/men-playing-hard-to-get

http://guytruths.tumblr.com/

http://www.neilstrauss.com/neil-strauss/

http://www.thisisbrandx.com/2010/06/-need-online-edate-help-call-virtual-dating-assistants.html

http://www.lemondrop.com/2010/07/09/an-updated-guide-to-making-a-classy-exit-from-a-crappy-relatio/

By Carrie Jean-

Happy Friday Readers! I don’t know if July started off on the wrong foot but my girl friends and I have been experiencing a lot of ungentlemanly acts by guys!

I was out a few nights ago with my friend at a nearby upscale bar and grill for dinner and lost my appetite from the behavior of the men present.  We went to this busy restaurant and wanted to sit at the bar.  There were no available barstools at the time so it was no biggie, we would wait until someone got up.  A nice guy that was alone saw us waiting and let us know he was leaving.  Two guys standing next to him decided to up and grab the seat before my girl friend could get on it.  The guy that sat down didn’t see my friend but the guy that was next to him clearly saw that the original guy sitting down gestured to us to take his seat.  Really? Could you not tell your friend to get up and let the lady have the seat?  How disgusting! But since we were both wearing short skirts, the self appointed director of seats “a frequent patron” approached us, offered to buy us drinks, give me his one seat and negotiated to the man next to him to get up for my girl friend to take his seat.  The man was with his wife and they were to be seated any moment as the ‘director’ made arrangements with the hostesses to seat the lovely couple immediately.  So the ‘director’ would finally take the wife’s seat when their table was ready.  The night was turning out not so bad as we had a personal concierge at our beckon call, what a gentleman  .  This is where it got ugly.

When the wife got up, a large man two heads taller than the director snatched his seat.  The director was polite and explained the situation to this massive man but the massive man shouted: I don’t give a F and threw down the bar stool.  The director (thinking the restaurant would back him as he is regular) didn’t back down and a shouting match ensued.  I was scared, grabbed my bag and in an instant was at the other end of the bar fearing getting punched in the face (on accident of course, like big guy swings for director and accidentally hits me, I have an overactive imagination).  My girl friend meanwhile is lagging behind me and even goes back to grab her drink that had one tiny sip left.  No free drink left behind.  Was all that anger necessary big massive guy? He was even there with a date.  What’s the big deal, its only a bar stool, why need to get violent?  We leave from the backdoor without dinner that night because it was just too much.

Ungentlemanly Act #2: I recently went on a first date with this great guy.  I was comfortable with him, we had nice conversation and then our dinner came.  He sucked down his dinner in less than 5 minutes and proceeded to pick his teeth with his nails.  Right in front of me.  I know that is superficial and its about the inside but c’mon, I had to look away like 5 times because I was so uncomfortable.  How do I politely tell him to go to the bathroom if he has to do that without hurting his feelings?  Hey, were you raised by wolves? Chew your food and go to the bathroom if you have to floss!

Ok, I was going to give you one more example but I’m worried HE may be reading this and for some reason I feel bad.  Ha, ha…I’ll mention his absolutely REPULSIVE behavior in another blog.   I can say this much though – If you take a woman out to an event/party and you get so trashed she has to call herself a cab and leave because there’s NO WAY you can drive you really have some growing up to do.

To wrap up, please be a gentleman.  Make your mother proud.  Someone is always watching.  Tell your buddy to get up from the bar stool and let the lady sit.  Don’t embarrass your date by creating an unnecessary scene at a nice establishment. And if you feel like you have something in your teeth, mostly likely you do, go to the bathroom, we don’t want to have to awkwardly look away.  Even if you don’t have manners, fake it please.

Have you seen the VH1 show Tough Love Couples with Steve Ward?  My girl friends and I are obsessed with it and in love with Steve.  If anyone knows him, feel free to have him contact me here at PR, I want him to take me Burger King so we can eat fast and get back to my house!  He is so cute and seems like a great guy.  Back to the show, basically Steve counsel’s couples to either break up for good or get engaged.  One couple has a nagging mother on the guy’s side who doesn’t want her son to “settle”.  She keeps telling him don’t settle, don’t settle.  She said the meaning of settling was gradually sinking to the bottom.  Scary, when she puts it that way.

Couple months ago, I went on a date with a 40 something man and basically he said, he hasn’t been married before because he didn’t want to settle.  To me, it sounded like he was looking for the perfect girl and does she exist (besides me of course)?  We all think we are great, self important, amazing–how do we examine ourselves without our own rose colored glasses?  Are we someone else’s settling?  How can we be the holy grail (as another matchmaker, my fave Patti Stanger says)?  Whatever it is, I just don’t want to be or with the sediment that sits at the bottom of the fish tank.  Something to think about for the week..

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man
What Men Really Think About Love, Relationships, Intimacy and Commitment
by Steve Harvey, the comedian and radio show host.

So I breezed through the book in three days.  It was a very easy to read, almost elementary. I like when I don’t have to strain my pretty little head too much, especially after a full day of work so this book was perfect!  Let me start off with my fave part of this whole book which made me laugh out loud:

The term: “Gold Digger”

Quote from the book: “I am here to tell you, though, ladies, that the term “gold digger” is one of the traps we men set to keep you off our money trail; we created that term for you so that we can have all of our money and still get everything we want from you without you asking for or expecting this very basic, instinctual responsibility that men all over the world are obligated to assume and embrace.  It’s a ‘get-over’ term, ladies–one that has a very legitimate premise (there are, of course, women who date and marry men solely for the cold, hard cash), but one that has been wrongly and almost universally applied to any woman who has made clear that she expects her man to fulfill his duty as a man.  Know this: It is your right to expect that a man will pay for your dinner, your movie ticket, your club entry fee, or whatever else he has to pay for in exchange for your time.  You all have to stop this foolishness with the ‘I pay for my dinner so he knows I don’t need him approach‘…a man–a real one, anyways—wants to feel needed.  And the easiest way to help him get that high is to let him provide for you.”

Good stuff, right!  Hilarious! So here is the breakdown of what the rest of book is about ladies:

A. What Drives Men: Men see the world through 3 things: who he is (his title, CEO/trash collector); what he does (how he gets that title); and how much he makes (his bank account).

B.  The Way Men Love: They Profess, Provide & Protect
1.  Profess: That is my wife
2.  Provide: Being there financially for you or doing things for you to alleviate your day-to-day obstacles
3.  Protect: Keep you out of harms way

C.  Three things every man needs: support, loyalty and the cookie.  Pretty self explanatory.

The book also talks about the 90 day NO SEX RULE (who has been able to hold out that long??… please email me and I will send you a free PR panty), his theory on why men cheat and various other topics.  Its an easy read, I recommend it as a summer beach read!

Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man:
http://www.amazon.com/Act-Like-Lady-Think-Relationships/dp/0061728977/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278004146&sr=1-1

A great book for you fellas, if you haven’t read it is The Game by Neil Strauss.  Check it out,
look at the reviews, trust me, you’ll want a copy for your summer read.

The Game:
http://www.amazon.com/Game-Penetrating-Secret-Society-Artists/dp/0060554738/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1278003731&sr=8-1

Happy Reading!!